¿Por qué será que a los padres nos cuesta tanto darnos cuenta?


¿Por qué será que a los padres nos cuesta tanto darnos cuenta de que un niño de once años necesita tantos abrazos como uno de cuatro? Si uno mismo no se controla, pronto estará cogiendo del brazo a su hijo y diciéndole:

¿Qué te cuentas, chaval?, en vez de abrazarte y decirte cuánto te quiero. La vida es demasiado corta para andar disimulando el afecto. ¿Por qué a los niños de ocho años les cuesta tanto darse cuenta de que quienes tenemos treinta o cuarenta necesitamos tantos abrazos como un chiquillo de cuatro?

Ojalá el trayecto no fuera tan corto… quería hablarte de lo que pasó anoche… cuando tu hermano menor ya dormía y dejamos que te quedaras levantado para ver el partido de béisbol. Ésos son momentos muy especiales y no hay manera de planearlos por anticipado.

Cada vez que proyectamos hacer algo juntos, no sale tan bien ni es tan interesante o afectuoso. Durante unos pocos minutos, demasiado cortos, fue como si ya fueras un adulto y estuviéramos sentados charlando, pero sin ninguna pregunta de ésas de cómo te va en la escuela.

Yo ya había verificado tus deberes de matemáticas de la única forma que puedo… con una calculadora. Tú eres mucho mejor que yo con los números. Estuvimos hablando del partido y tú sabías más que yo de los jugadores, así que estuve aprendiendo de ti. Y cuando nuestro equipo ganó, los dos estábamos encantados. Bueno, ahí está el guardia urbano.

Probablemente vivirá más que todos nosotros. Ojalá no tuvieras que ir hoy a la escuela. Hay tantas cosas que quisiera decirte… Sales del coche tan rápidamente. Yo quisiera saborear el momento, pero tú ya has divisado a un par de amigos tuyos. Lo único que quería decirte es que te quiero…

Cuando eres padre (o madre) es habitual que algún conocido o amigo, que ya ha sido padre hace unos años te diga: “Aprovecha todo lo que puedas, que los niños crecen muy rápido”.

El consejo viene a decir que debemos tratar de vivir con intensidad cada momento con nuestros hijos porque el día que menos te lo esperes, te darás cuenta de que han crecido, de que ya no te necesitan tanto como antes y, lo que es peor, que te has perdido muchas cosas de una infancia que ya nunca volverá.

Cuando compartimos y aprovechamos el tiempo con nuestros hijos no solo nosotros como adultos nos sentimos bien, sino que también estos niños se vinculan mejor con otros, su parte emocional es sólida y aprenden mejor.

Las relaciones se construyen con el tiempo, esto se logra con experiencias compartidas, y los mejores maestros serán los adultos significativos en la vida de los niños. Muchas veces estos adultos serán los abuelos o los tíos, y en ocasiones la niñera que queda a cargo de los pequeños.

Lo más grave es cuando hay negligencia en el cuidado; cuando el niño está solo y no tiene alrededor personas con quienes vincularse, probablemente tendrá problemas de aprendizaje, dificultades para relacionarse o problemas de salud mental.



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